Dear _____________

Dear Blake,

I have been trying to come up with ways to start doing this with your new baby brother when he comes.  I want to be able to write him a separate blog called “Dear ________” with his name (yet to be determined).  I know I will be able to continue writing to you both separately on each of your blogs, but when I do this writing challenge it will be hard to write on both and I can only post one to the website.  I am excited though to start this for your brother as well.  I plan on giving these to you as gifts maybe on your 18th birthday or when you go away to college.  I also thought about turning this blog into a book form, but then I thought it might be fun for you to read online.  I haven’t decided yet.  Either way, I hope you treasure this.  I’ve spent a lot of time writing to you and I hope you know how much I love you.  I hope you can look back on these memories of mine and know how much you are loved.

I love you,

Mama

Egg hunt

Dear Blake,

I can’t wait until Easter with you this year.  We have been watching the Easter video a lot lately from last year when you had three different Easter egg hunts.  You had one at our house, then you went to one at our park district, then you had one and Papa and Gigi’s house.  Yesterday you were going around our house pointing out all the hiding places that the eggs were last year.  So now I know to hid the eggs somewhere different this year (I mean the Easter bunny will hid them).  This year we will have an egg hunt at our house in the morning and then go to Auntie Kitty’s house and she said she is making a big egg hunt in her big backyard.  You have been talking about this for weeks!  You even had Gigi bring out her plastic eggs to play with and practice hiding around her house.  It will be exciting to make it harder this year too.  I can’t wait to watch you find them and find the little prizes inside!

Love,

Mama

Videos

Dear Blake,

Something that you’ve always enjoyed doing is watching videos of yourself on my phone or on the computer.  We’ve certainly done a lot of that in the past week while we were sick.  You keep asking me to sit in the bed and watch videos.  We watch all your old videos from when you were first born and family videos.  I used to love doing this when I was little, I still do.  We would watch all our old family videos on VHS.  I really enjoy doing this with you now.  It’s good quality time spent together.  I hope you continue to like doing this as you grow up as we add a lot more videos to our collection.

Love,

Mama

It’s groundhogs day over here

Dear Blake,

Now I’ve caught it!  I really think it will be spring by the time we all get better over here (because spring just doesn’t seem to be coming this year).  We got to have another day just laying around together.  We’ve been doing this for like 9 days already.  We missed our Saturday morning shopping trip, and the bunny breakfast we were going to take you to.  It just keeps being the same thing over and over like that movie Groundhogs Day!  As my Papa used to say, “Better days are comin’.”

Love,

Mama

Getting better

Dear Blake,

I think you are finally starting to feel better (knock on wood).  You kept food and drinks down today, despite being sick again last night.  I’m hoping tonight you aren’t sick at all.  Papa and Gigi took good care of you today and made sure you had everything you needed to have.  I’m looking forward to getting to spend the day with you tomorrow at home just resting.  Now I’m going to go to sleep because Mama is starting to not feel too good.  Will you take care of me if I’m sick?  I think you would be a good helper.

I love you,

Mama

I promised

Dear Blake,

I promised I wouldn’t write about how you’re still sick.

I promised I would write about Spring time instead.

I promised I wouldn’t write about how we almost took you to the ER last night.

I promised I wouldn’t  write about how you couldn’t keep any liquids or food down at all yesterday.  At all.

I promised I wouldn’t write about how we tried to put you to bed and you kept waking up so sick for hours.

I promised I wouldn’t write about how I called the doctor real late last night so that they couldn’t tell me what to do.

I promised I wouldn’t write about how you finally fell asleep but I stayed up all night watching the monitor.

I promised I wouldn’t write about how you woke up and begged me to stay home with you.

I promised I wouldn’t write about how you threw up again this morning and Dadda is staying home with you and taking you to the doctor for the fourth time.

I promised I wouldn’t write about all this so that maybe you might get better.

So I won’t write about it.

I’ll write about Spring time instead.

Love,

Mama

Won’t it stop ever?!

Dear Blake,

Poor thing, maybe I just shouldn’t write about this anymore.  Maybe if I don’t write about it, it will stop.  Mama had to go back to work today, and I thought all would be well…not exactly.  You were throwing up all over the kitchen, then the whole car ride to Papa and Gigi’s house, then at Papa and Gigi’s house.  Gigi ran out and bought you pedialite and Mama had to leave for work.  You were saying “Mama stay with me,” and “Mama don’t go.”  It broke my heart.  But I know you’re in good hands.  All we can do is hope this is the last day of this.  I can’t even write about this anymore.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll write about springtime and all will be over!

Love,

Mama

Just. So. Tired.

Dear Blake,

I’m writing this letter so late tonight, it’s been the longest and roughest day, for you and me.  You poor thing have been put through the ringer.  Today was the worst.  Just when I thought you were getting better, you threw up a bunch of times today, coughing so hard I thought you couldn’t breathe, then us taking you back to the doctor and them giving you a new diagnosis.  What. A. Day.  Mama is exhausted, and I know you are too.  This won’t even be a long letter because I just need to go to bed.  Taking care of a sick baby is very tiring, as I’m sure you’ll learn one day when you have your own kids.  It’s been emotionally draining, with me being so worried for six days now and today I didn’t even know what to do anymore.  I just wanted you to get better.  Then cleaning up all the throw up and taking care of you, I didn’t even eat all day.  So we took you back to the doctor and they discovered that you had an ear infection all along and a sinus infection on top of the RSV that they said you had.  What. In. The. World.  You poor thing must think that we are going to be going to the doctor everyday now.  I promise we won’t be taking you back for a while (I hope), or at least until May when you have to get your 3 year shots (poor baby).  So we stopped at McDonald’s so Mama could eat her first meal of the day and you could get an ice cream treat.  I hope that makes you feel better and happy, I promise we will not go to the doctor tomorrow.  Just. So. Tired.

Must. Go. To. Bed.

Love,

Mama

Doctors

Dear Blake,

We got medicine!  Woohoo!  Just hoping it kicks in very soon.  You had another very miserable day.  Poor guy.  I wish I could take away your pain.  Then to make matters worse, you had to go to the doctor.  Worse place in the world according to you.  You used to do ok at the doctor but everytime you go lately you cry more and more and scream.  Everyone in the office can hear you.  But I don’t care, it’s what kids do.  Last time I went, the doctor asked me “Why is he crying so much, did he have a traumatic doctor experience?”  I said no.  I don’t really understand this question considering I’ve brought you to that doctor’s office since you were born, so if anything traumatic did happen, it happened there.  There was one time where they did have to hold you down to pull the build up out of your ear, so that might be why you scream everytime they look in your ear and we have to hold you down.  But the doctor just looks at me like “What is wrong with him?”  I mean you can’t be the only kid to go into a doctor’s office crying and afraid.

I’m just glad you are hopefully going to start to feel better.  (I hope)

Love,

Mama

Sick day again

Dear Blake,

This whole weekend was spent inside the house with you sick.  Each day it got worse and worse.  I just felt so bad when you wouldn’t eat, coughed every 10 seconds, threw up, didn’t want to play, just wanted to lay in bed.  I really enjoyed taking care of you though and you snuggling me.  I was so worried about you, especially today.  I just couldn’t be ok with the doctor saying there was nothing they could do because it was a virus, so of course I didn’t know what to do on a Sunday when the doctor was closed.  We contemplated taking you to the immediate care, but I thought, I better wait, they probably won’t do anything.  It’s so hard to just be helpless and be ok with doing things around the house to make you feel better.  I wish I could just give you a medicine and have your pain be taken away.  I felt so bad when you said “Mama, I don’t feel good,” or “Dadda, help me.”  I swore at least 10 times today I thought, “That’s it, I’m taking him to the immediate care!”  But I held back.  I knew what they would say.  We tried many home remedies today so I’m just hoping that when you wake up you aren’t as bad.  Until then, I’ll just watch the baby monitor and hope that you are getting some rest.

Love,

Mama