No sleep

Dear Blake,

I knew this day would come…you were sleeping 12 hours up until this point.  Today you are having trouble sleeping, waking up every half hour.  Something might be wrong, maybe you have a cold, but it might be due to the fact that we kind of messed up your bedtime today.  We went to visit some friends that just had a baby and you didn’t get to bed at your usual time.  It might be messing you up. 

While I was holding the baby, I realized that she weighed the same that you weighed when you were born, but I found that I could not remember that you were that small.  It was only 10 months ago but I have already forgotten.  I forgot what it was like to hold a newborn and how small they really are.  I don’t want to forget what it was like when you were a newborn but it’s slowly slipping away.  I have pictures and videos but I know it’s not the same.  I love every stage of your life but I don’t want to forget that first stage.  I want to freeze time and keep you how you are right now but I know it won’t happen.  All I can do is think about the past and think about what the future holds and to focus on the present time with you as you are.

Love,

Mom

P.S. – as I wrote the ending of this letter, you fell asleep again.  Hopefully we can get some sleep tonight “fingers crossed.” 

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3 thoughts on “No sleep

  1. Oh.. I remember this feeling. I still feel it. I have one moment. One night that I MADE myself rememebr that moment, and I do. I was feeding my son in his dark room, rocking in the glider and as he was feeding, slippin in and out of sleep, I strared at him, and literally whispered to myself, “Remember this moment, Remember this moment.” It worked. Every detail.. holding him in my arms, so small, and sweet, It almost makes me cry right now! You will remember. Just embrace every moment, and hold on to as many as you can.

  2. Oh, I remember those moments too – barely! My girls are almost three and it’s so hard to remember how little they were. I love that you are writing to Blake. Keep writing, take lots of pictures and videos. Each new age and phase brings so much joy and you live in that moment. Hope you all get back on schedule and sleep tight tonight!

  3. It’s great that you wrote it down, that will help with the memory…I agree that sometimes you want to freeze time with your babies! Every moment is precious…enjoy it while you can-soak it in!

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