The day after you were born

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Dear Blake,

The day after you were born was a crazy one in the hospital.  We had to spend the first night without you while you were in the nursery.  When we woke up we just wanted to see you but the nurses would not let me go in the nursery to see you because I still had shingles and could get the other babies sick.  I was so upset and devastated.  They let your Daddy go in to see you a few times and I would just sit in the room and wait.  Finally, a nurse came in and said I could go into the nursery and visit you and feed you.  If we went in there we had to put on gowns and gloves so as not to infect you or any of the other babies.  I didn’t care what they made me do, as long as I could go and see you.  We put on gowns and gloves and went into the nursery.  I saw you laying under an incubator and hooked up to an IV and I just started crying.  I didn’t want anything to be wrong with you but I knew the nurses were taking care of you.  They asked me if I wanted to feed you for the first time. Of course I said yes but I didn’t know what to do!  I never fed a newborn before.  I just held you in my arms and put the bottle in your mouth and you knew what to do.  I was sad and remember asking “Is this all he gets?!”  There was barely any formula in the bottle because you were so small and they needed to see if you would tolerate it before giving you more.  We held you for a long time just talking to you and then had to go back to our room and wait until the next time we saw you.

Love,

Mom

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2 thoughts on “The day after you were born

  1. That’s something, isn’t it, Erin? That first feeding? I was so scared. I love that you’re reliving all of this for Blake – the worry and the sadness and the joy and all of it.

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